Catalog

Subject: Your pricing page is lying to you
Preview: Three founders raised prices last month. Two regret it.

Headline: The pricing change that costs more than it earns

1. The claim — Raising prices 20% sounds like free margin. For two of three founders I spoke to this month it cut net revenue, because the churn arrived three months later and nobody connected it.
2. The mechanism — Annual customers do not leave on day one. They leave at renewal, which is after you have already celebrated.
3. The numbers — Founder A: +20% price, −11% net revenue by month 5. Founder B: +15%, +9% — the difference was a grandfather clause.
4. What I would do — Raise for new customers only. Measure renewal cohorts for two quarters before touching existing plans.

CTA: Reply with your last price change and the month you measured it. I will tell you if you measured too early.

Cuts the author will push back on: the opening anecdote about the coffee shop (300 words, no number); the second example that repeats the first; "I think" ×6.

Voice rules

- Sentence length: 4–10 words. Never a sentence over 14.
- Tone: dry, mildly self-deprecating, never preachy. "Okay, controversial:" / "Weirdly, the most-asked question this month" / "Sorry. Also not sorry."
- Words used often: actually, okay, weirdly, notes inside, for a real face
- Words never used (peers use them): journey, elevate, unlock, glow-up, self-care, ritual, holy grail, obsessed
- Emoji: one at the end, never mid-caption. 🌿 or 😌.
- Hooks: a contrarian observation stated flat, never a question.
- Closes: one short verdict, no CTA.

New captions (launch week)
1. Most niacinamide serums are water with a marketing budget. Ours isn't. 🌿
2. Okay, controversial: your skin does not need 12 steps. It needs 3 that work.
3. Tested the new cleanser on a real face for 6 weeks. Notes inside.
4. Weirdly, the most-asked question this month: "safe during pregnancy?" Yes.
5. Discontinued the toner. It wasn't pulling its weight. Sorry. Also not sorry. 😌
...
Drift check: #7 uses a question hook; #9 runs 16 words. Cut both.

Edited draft

AI lessons that take 15 minutes a day. Used by 12,000 professionals in 40 countries. Start your free 5-day trial.

Change log
- "a revolutionary AI-powered learning experience" → "AI lessons that take 15 minutes a day" — "revolutionary" is a tell; 15 minutes is a number the reader can picture
- "empowering professionals worldwide to thrive" → "used by 12,000 professionals in 40 countries" — abstraction replaced with proof
- "Begin your transformative journey today" → "Start your free 5-day trial" — the actual offer is more persuasive than the metaphor
- cut "seamlessly", "cutting-edge", "unlock" — adjectives with no referent
- "trusted by teams" → [NEEDS NUMBER] — kept, but it needs a count or a name

Weakest remaining line: "40 countries" is impressive only if the reader is outside the US; consider replacing with a named company.