Catalog

Subject: Your pricing page is lying to you
Preview: Three founders raised prices last month. Two regret it.

Headline: The pricing change that costs more than it earns

1. The claim — Raising prices 20% sounds like free margin. For two of three founders I spoke to this month it cut net revenue, because the churn arrived three months later and nobody connected it.
2. The mechanism — Annual customers do not leave on day one. They leave at renewal, which is after you have already celebrated.
3. The numbers — Founder A: +20% price, −11% net revenue by month 5. Founder B: +15%, +9% — the difference was a grandfather clause.
4. What I would do — Raise for new customers only. Measure renewal cohorts for two quarters before touching existing plans.

CTA: Reply with your last price change and the month you measured it. I will tell you if you measured too early.

Cuts the author will push back on: the opening anecdote about the coffee shop (300 words, no number); the second example that repeats the first; "I think" ×6.

Voice rules

- Sentence length: 4–10 words. Never a sentence over 14.
- Tone: dry, mildly self-deprecating, never preachy. "Okay, controversial:" / "Weirdly, the most-asked question this month" / "Sorry. Also not sorry."
- Words used often: actually, okay, weirdly, notes inside, for a real face
- Words never used (peers use them): journey, elevate, unlock, glow-up, self-care, ritual, holy grail, obsessed
- Emoji: one at the end, never mid-caption. 🌿 or 😌.
- Hooks: a contrarian observation stated flat, never a question.
- Closes: one short verdict, no CTA.

New captions (launch week)
1. Most niacinamide serums are water with a marketing budget. Ours isn't. 🌿
2. Okay, controversial: your skin does not need 12 steps. It needs 3 that work.
3. Tested the new cleanser on a real face for 6 weeks. Notes inside.
4. Weirdly, the most-asked question this month: "safe during pregnancy?" Yes.
5. Discontinued the toner. It wasn't pulling its weight. Sorry. Also not sorry. 😌
...
Drift check: #7 uses a question hook; #9 runs 16 words. Cut both.

1. Three weeks ago it was perfect. Now it loses a leaf every other day.
2. The plant in the shop window is not the one in your living room.
3. You did not do anything wrong. Nobody told you the one thing it needs.
4. It is not the light. It is not the water. It is the third thing.
5. Day 21: the soil is wet, the leaves are yellow, the blog says "just wait".
6. Confession: I killed four of these before I learned to read the leaves.
7. Your plant has been asking for help for two weeks. You just did not speak the language.
8. 80% of dropped leaves come from the same two mistakes. Both are fixable tonight.
9. Still watering on a schedule? That is the thing killing it.
10. The nursery tag said "easy". The nursery tag lied.

Cold landing page: #2 — the contrast is visual and lands in one read.
Warm email: #3 — removes blame, which is what a subscriber who already feels guilty needs first.

Edited draft

AI lessons that take 15 minutes a day. Used by 12,000 professionals in 40 countries. Start your free 5-day trial.

Change log
- "a revolutionary AI-powered learning experience" → "AI lessons that take 15 minutes a day" — "revolutionary" is a tell; 15 minutes is a number the reader can picture
- "empowering professionals worldwide to thrive" → "used by 12,000 professionals in 40 countries" — abstraction replaced with proof
- "Begin your transformative journey today" → "Start your free 5-day trial" — the actual offer is more persuasive than the metaphor
- cut "seamlessly", "cutting-edge", "unlock" — adjectives with no referent
- "trusted by teams" → [NEEDS NUMBER] — kept, but it needs a count or a name

Weakest remaining line: "40 countries" is impressive only if the reader is outside the US; consider replacing with a named company.